Me: *breathes* My Mom: OMG I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE!!! Continue reading 12/13/19

I’m as confused as a chameleon in a bag of skittles. Continue reading 12/12/19

I swear, medicine companies have absolutely no idea what fruit tastes like. Continue reading 12/11/19

Person: are you okay? Me: I’m fine…(have you ever realized that buildings don’t make the earth heavier because the materials were already there) Continue reading 12/10/19

I named my horse Mayo, and sometimes mayo neighs. Continue reading 12/5/19

(READ OUT LOUD) Q: Why does a milking stool only have three legs? A: Because the cow has the udder… Continue reading 12/4/19

Balloons are so weird. Like “Happy Birthday! Here’s a plastic sack of my breath.” Continue reading 12/3/19

I hate the key of e minor. It gives me the e-b-g-bs. Continue reading 12/2/19

Q: What did the turkey say to the cook? A: QUACK… Continue reading 11/26/19

As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought dogs were easily amused. Then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail. Continue reading 11/25/19